She realised she was lying down on her back. The cold hard floor pressed against it. She knew her eyes were closed, but she was afraid to open them. The sunlight from the window was streaming inside the room, warming the back of her eyelids. All she saw was red.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and when she blinked, tears slid sideways into her hair. She could see quite clearly out of the window, the sunlight, trees, birds chirping; what a wonderful sight she thought. She always fathomed why people made such a big deal to be alive, to feel. Maybe she should give marvelling at life another attempt. She could see the trees upside down, the underside of the leaves on the branches were a duller green but it was always her favourite. They spoke about what life is really like. Dull, rough and more than often, always ignored. The birds flying past her window didn’t even bother sitting on her window grill. It was like she had this tiny spark of hope in her. She turned her head to the right and was staring under her bed. This, was her safe refuge. No matter what happened, she would always sit there first and feel safe. Obviously as time moves on, her sitting there turned into lying down there. The area under her bed was always impeccably clean, cleaner than any other part of her room. She was looking at an ant scuttling around under her bed; too bad it will not find any crumbs to satiate it.

Suddenly, she let out a great shudder of pain, but it did not feel painful. On the contrary, it was a satisfying almost sweet pain. Her eyes were watering even more now and with all her might she lifted her left hand, almost killing her faster. Again, she saw red. The thick fast dripping of blood from her wrist brought a smile on her face.


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